Gary the Busybody
by Dreamer1920
Summary: Gary finds that the only excitement he gets in his life is from watching the petty gossip from television, which ole SpongeBob doesn't really approve of. So, the sponge suggests that the snail go out and find something more productive to do. Gary, of course, takes his owner's advice. But what happens when he still lets his sneaky side get the better of him? Read & find out!
1. Plenty of things to do

**Hi there! Well, you know from the summary what this thing is, haha. Just a silly little Gary shenanigan that is _probably _very weird and makes no sense. But eh, most of my stories are like that, so. XD This isn't my best story either, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters.**

**Gary the Busybody **

_**HONK! HONK! HONK!**_

The loud and obnoxious blare of sound could only have been coming from one place: The foghorn alarm clock.

_Sigh_. Every day, **every day**, that annoying noise invaded the air (or water). This had been going on for years, why couldn't the sponge just get a new alarm clock?! Didn't he know how much it irritated his intelligent pet to be so rudely woken up every single day from his beauty sleep? The answer to that question was most definitely a _no_. Why would he even notice? He was constantly waking up Squidward anyway, so, to him it was normal.

SpongeBob let out a peaceful sigh as he reached over to shut off the clock. Stretching out his arms, he smiled to himself. "Ah, another **beautiful** day! Huh, Gare?" he asked cheerily, staring down at his groggy pet, who had barely just opened his eyelids.

"Meow (Sure, if you say so.)"

The sponge bit his lip excitedly, knowing what was ahead of him that day. "I don't just say so, Gary, I _know_ so. Today is Monday — the start of another week at the best job in the whole world!" he shouted enthusiastically.

He looked down at the bored-looking snail. "Well, the best job in the _ocean_, at least." He chuckled to himself and jumped down from bed, preparing to do his usual morning routine.

He landed in front of the snail. "Wanna do a little stretching, Gare? It's good for the ol' neck bones," he said, twisting his head from side to side, then bending in half to touch his toes.

Gary stared at him with an unamused expression. "Meow (I imagine that would be really good for you… if only you **had** any neck bones… or a _**neck**_, for that matter)"

"Dahahaha! Oh, Gare. You always were a little jokester," he said, smiling and patting his pet on the top of his eyestalks.

The snail glared at his owner as he walked towards the bathroom. "Meow (who said I was joking?)" he mumbled under his breath.

Sighing to himself, the snail then slithered his way out of the cozy chamber that was their bedroom and made his way downstairs.

He scoffed. "Meow (pssshh, another **beautiful **day, huh? More like another bore-fest)" he then paused as he reached the living room. "Meow (I gotta pull myself together, I'm starting to sound like Squidward.)"

* * *

_~French Narrator~_

"Fifteen boring minutes later."

"Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty… four…" SpongeBob panted as he ran in circles around the living room couch. Gary sat in the middle of the couch, staring blankly as he attempted to see past his owner blocking his view of the television every few seconds. Jeez, what did a snail have to do to watch some morning talk shows?

"Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. PHEW, what a workout," said SpongeBob, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Meow (why all the exercise? You're not getting fat)"

The sponge chuckled. "I know that, Gary. I was a little slow last week at work, so Squidward gave me some very helpful advice: he said it was important to move around as much as possible to keep my blood pumping. That way I could stay alert and get _even more_ work done!" he smiled.

Gary peered at his naïve owner. "Meow (Squidward? Giving helpful advice? To **you?**)"

The sponge nodded happily. "Yep!" he then noticed the snail's expression. "Is there anything _wrong_ with that, Gary?"

"Meow (mmm… yep, I think so)"

SpongeBob furrowed his brows. "Why do you say that, Gary? Squidward is my friend, after all. What's so weird about him giving me advice?"

"Meow (**everything** is weird about that. I mean, telling you to run around so that you can get **more** work done?)"

SpongeBob nodded once again. "Sure! I think it's a great idea. He just wants to make sure I'm a good coworker," he smiled.

"Meow (_sounds more like he's trying to tire you out to the point of you collapsing, which would be his all-time biggest dream)_" he meowed quietly.

SpongeBob cocked an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Meow (oh, nothing.)" The snail then looked past the sponge to stare at the television screen.

"That's right, Marina. Jett Fisherman was seen twice this week at the same restaurant… with _two_ different girls!" said a female talk show host. She sat at a large, round table with three other women. The women at the table, as well as the women in the audience, all gasped in shock at the gossip that was being discussed.

"Meow! (that traitor!)"

SpongeBob stared at the snail, cocking a brow and tapping his foot impatiently on the ground.

Gary shifted his gaze up at him. "Meow? (what?)"

SpongeBob shook his head. "I can't believe you watch this nonsense. I mean, really, Gary. Do these ladies _really_ have nothing better to do than spread celebrity gossip?"

"Meow, meow (no, **I** have nothing better to do than to listen to the juicy stories. It's always the same around here. That stupid alarm clock wakes me up every day. You spring out of bed like you're on some new medication and do the same boring routine. And then, you go to work. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here all day, nibbling at the couch and coughing up the dust bunnies that I inhale from my food bowl)" he ranted.

SpongeBob listened carefully and crossed his arms over his chest. "And just what are you trying to get across, Gary?"

"Meow (I'm. Bored. That's why I enjoy watching talk shows; the gossip excites me)" he grinned deviously.

SpongeBob gasped. "Gary! You sound worse than a greedy bank robber,"

Gary scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Meow (sheesh, dramatic much?)"

SpongeBob looked at his watch. "Jumping nematodes! I'm gonna be late," he rushed towards the door, only to turn around and look his pet in the eye.

"I'm sorry to hear about your boredom, Gare. But there's just got to be a better way to spend your time than watching a bunch of worthless gossip stories. There's a whole world full of people and things out there just waiting to be discovered. You could have so much fun!"

"Meow? (what do you suggest I do then?)"

"Take a walk-or I mean, slither, haha. Go where the road takes you, maybe talk to a few people, make some little friends. It's gotta be better than just lazing around here all day," he said, smiling reassuringly at him.

Gary sighed. "Meow (okay, okay. I'll try something new)"

"That's the spirit! Go out and explore the world, have an adventure! Have a-HEART ATTACK! YIKES! Only two minutes until work! Gotta go, Gary. See ya!" he exclaimed, staring down at the time on his watch. He then slammed the door shut and dashed for The Krusty Krab.

The snail sighed to himself. Using his eyestalk, he then pressed the power button on the remote control, turning off the television.

"Meow (go out, have an adventure… eh, it's worth a shot.)" He then slithered down from the couch and exited the pineapple, preparing to take his owner's advice and just go where the current took him. Papa-Bob sometimes _did_ have some common sense. He had to be right about this, _anything_ was better than just sitting around like a sack of potatoes, right?

* * *

_~French Narrator~_

"One terrible idea later."

The little troublemaker of a snail slithered down the sidewalk of downtown Bikini Bottom, staring up at all the fish-folk passing him by, all towering above him. He then took a pause and examined his surroundings.

Women pushing baby strollers and talking to their girlfriends over their shell-phones.

A group of meatheads heading for the gym.

An old lady crossing the street.

A homeless man asking for spare change. Ha! It reminded Gary of that time that his master took in that ungrateful coworker of his.

The snail sighed, realizing things in town were just as boring as things at home. Or were they?

Just then, Gary overheard what sounded like two people arguing. He turned his eyestalks in the direction of the voices, slithering over towards the open window of a house.

"Meow… (no, I shouldn't be doing this. I have to remember what Papa-Bob said, it's _just_ worthless gossip… worthless, exciting, JUICY gossip…)" he purred from the rush he was beginning to feel.

"Meow… (well… maybe a **little** listen won't hurt)" he poked his eyes above the edge of the window and saw a man and woman standing in front of each other, shouting.

"All I ask is for a _little_ help around here. Take out the garbage, straighten out the rugs, pick the lint off the dang couch for all I care! But no, you do nothing but sit on your lazy tailfin and watch those stupid reality TV shows!" the woman shouted.

"May I remind you who pays the bill for the stinking TV? I believe I have a right to watch it whenever I wish! Besides, at least the shows **I** watch are entertaining. You, on the other hand, get sucked into those radio medical shows with the hunky doctors. I mean, what do you see in those guys anyway?!" the man demanded to know.

"That's the thing, Jerry. I don't _see_ anything in them because I can't **SEE** their faces!"

Gary bit his lip. This was wrong-he was invading people's privacy. He not only had an appetite for gossip but also for drama. Oh, brother.

Maybe Papa-Bob was right… he was worse than a greedy bank robber! He needed to just turn around and find something else to do with his time.

He then decided to do _just_ that. He turned away from the window and slithered a few feet down the sidewalk. He didn't need this. He was a smart and strong little guy who could do anything he set his mind to. He didn't need to get involved in any old useless gossip or drama! He could be doing _so_ many other things with his precious time. So many other _important_ things. Because after all, gossip was just gossip; it wasn't important. Nor was listening in to people jumping down each other's throats important. At least, that's what he was trying to convince himself of at that moment.

"Meow (Papa-Bob is right. Who needs all that boring drama in their life anyway?)" he grinned smugly to himself. But he soon found his carefree mood diminishing and turning into one of great curiosity when he spotted Mr. Krabs' daughter, Pearl and her two friends, Judy and Orchid, heading for the juice bar.

The snail sat in the middle of the sidewalk, silently observing the three teenagers as they laughed their hearts out.

"I couldn't believe the look on her face when she realized her ponytail was missing!" said Pearl, barely being able to contain her giggles.

"Girl, I know! You'd think she'd just lost her favorite summer dress in a fire or something," replied Judy, rolling her eyes.

"It was pretty funny, but I still felt kinda bad for her," said Orchid.

"Oh, don't waste your time. She didn't feel bad when she 'accidentally' dumped that huge bowl of punch all over us at the school dance last year," argued Pearl.

The three young girls continued their conversation as they entered the juice bar. Gary sat there, torn between sneaking into that place and eavesdropping on their wild gossip or just simply turning in the other direction and going on with his business.

Oh, what to do, what to do. "Meow… (hmmm…)" Oh, the snail was tempted. _Really_ tempted.

Just then, a thought bubble appeared above his head, SpongeBob himself standing inside of it. "Gary the Snail, do you really want to so criminally invade other people's business just for your own benefit? I thought I taught you better than that," his voice echoed.

Gary bit his lip once again. "Meow (oh, what's so 'criminal' about it? It's not like I'm gonna go to jail for doing this kind of stuff)" he looked back at the door of the juice bar that was practically calling his name.

"You'd be surprised what people go to jail for," his owner argued.

"Meow (pshhh, what's surprising to me is how _you_ haven't gone to jail for how many boats you've totaled)"

The yellow sponge of the snails' imagination gasped, placing his hands on his hips. "That's no fair, Gary! You know I can't help but floor it,"

"Meow (you can't help _a lot_ of things)"

"Enough with the sass. I'm warning you, Gary. Don't. Go. In. There. You'll just be wasting your time,"

Gary glanced back and forth between the bubble and the door. Wasting his time, eh? "Meow (well, we both know I've got nothing _but_ time.)" The snail had made his decision.

"Gary. The. Snail. You listen to me. I don't have to take this! We both have roles to play here. I'm the adult, you are the helpless, misguided child-oooh! Free ice cream!" the sponge inside the bubble spotted a cart on the sidewalk.

"I wonder if they have the new Jelly Berry flavor?" he said, his eyes glistening with excitement.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Meow, meow (I don't know, but if you really want to find out, I think you should make like a banana and split.)" He took in a deep breath and blew at the bubble.

"Hey! That joke was _never_ funny. And I don't even _like_ bananas! You'll regret this, GARRRYYY…" his voice trailed off as the bubble disappeared. Well, that took care of _that_ problem. Now, it was time to do a bit of sneaking around and get his fill for the day. It was just a little gossip from a bunch of young, hormonal teenage girls. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

** A/N: We shall see…**


	2. Giving into temptation

**Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters.**

**Gary the Busybody**

The three carefree teens stepped inside of the quaint, 1950's style juice bar. The floors were made of shiny, white marble and the walls were colored seafoam green and were covered with hundreds of large, wooden-framed pictures of famous singers and guitarists.

The three sat down on tall, black and red stool chairs. They rested their arms on the long stretch of the shiny beige counter.

A famous old song that practically _every_ person knew began to fill the atmosphere. As soon as the catchy rhythm of the tune hit Orchid's ears, the fish couldn't help but get excited. "Oooh! They're playing Billy Coral-house, how groovy!" she bobbed her head to the music and tapped her feet against the metal bar of the chair.

Pearl and Judy shot her a look. "Ewww, you like _old_ music?" asked Pearl.

"Of course! It's better than a lot of the junk they've got nowadays,"

"Hmm, well, if you're _such _an expert on old stuff, why did you say 'groovy'?" asked Judy.

"Because it's old slang, duh," Orchid rolled her eyes and smiled crookedly.

"I thought 'groovy' was from the '60s?" asked Pearl.

"That's what they want you to think. It actually became popular during the late '50s," replied Orchid, dancing in her seat.

Judy yawned in a sarcastic manner. "Wow, _so_ interesting. You should be a teacher."

"And you should be a party pooper. Oh, wait, you already are." She replied smugly, continuing to shimmy in her chair.

Little did they know, the sneaky little busybody of a snail snuck into the joint. He saw his opportunity to do so while a male fish was making his way inside. The snail could barely squeeze through the door, scraping the sides of his shell as he struggled to get through. Perhaps he needed to lay off the snail treats?

Gary shifted his eyes around the room, hoping that he would just blend in with his surroundings. Too bad the floors weren't pink with blue spots and red swirls, though. It'd make it ten times easier to blend in. But oh well, he had to work with what he had.

He spotted an empty table in the middle of the room. He slithered over and hid underneath in the shadows. He looked up, noticing all the old chewing gum stuck on the underside of the table.

"Meow (ewww)"

Another thought bubble appeared above his head. "I told you you'd regret this," said the all too familiar voice of his owner.

The snail didn't want to hear it. Or, think it. "Meow (oh, who says I'm regretting anything? You'd be grossed out too if you'd have to see this kind of stuff)."

"Trust me, I have seen _far_ worse than some chewed up old gum," his owner argued.

Yeah, right! "Meow? (pffftt, like what?)"

The sponge crossed his arms over his chest. "Your little bin where you make sandcastles, also known as your litter box."

The snail smiled sheepishly. "Mm-hmmm, that's what I thought," SpongeBob said mockingly.

"MEOW! (OH, GO AWAY!)" the bubble popped seconds later.

Gary sat back and watched the three teenage girls as they sat at the counter. Just then, the male juice bartender approached them from behind the counter.

"Hey-o, ladies. What can I get for ya?" the fish spoke with a New Yorker accent as he shined up a glass with a dishrag.

"Three Mango-Pineapple Blasts please, and hold the coral chunks," said Pearl.

"You got it!" he said.

Orchid sighed dreamily, placing her fins under her chin. "I sure hope Jacob Crab-cake shows up at the party later, I want him to finally notice my new hairstyle,"

"What new hairstyle?" asked Judy.

Orchid scoffed. "_Hello_, I trimmed the ends? Ugh, I think you need to stay off your shell-phone, it's making you more oblivious by the minute."

"Meow? (a party, eh? Sounds promising…)" the snail was beginning to plot sneaky things. He clearly was not interested in heeding any warnings from his owner. What did that barnacle head know anyway? Besides jellyfishing and flipping greasy Krabby Patties?

"Ooh, I don't know if you should talk to Jacob, Orchid. He's been seeing Martha Fishburn the past few months," said Pearl.

"I heard he's _also_ been seeing Evelyn Barnacle on the side," said Judy.

"Meow! (hey! That's just like the story I heard on the talk show this morning. That makes this _even_ better)" he grinned deviously.

"Here ya go, drink up!" said the bartender, sliding their drinks towards them.

Pearl took a sip through her straw and coughed. "Ew! I thought I said hold the coral chunks?"

"I did! These 'chunks' are different. They're from an old family recipe, they're made out of- "

"Uh, we really don't want to know." Judy interrupted. The fish shrugged and went back to work.

"Hey, you! Shoo!" a female voice spoke. Suddenly, Gary found himself being shoved out from under the table by a straw broom. He was now out in the open… for everyone to see.

"Did you guys hear something?" asked Pearl. She then looked behind her and spotted the snail. "Gary? Is that you?" she asked.

He smiled sheepishly. "Meow (heh heh… sure?)"

"What are you doing here?" she asked, cocking a brow at him.

"Meow… (oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd take a break)"

Orchid chuckled cluelessly. "Neighborhood? You're in _town_, silly!" Pearl and Judy rolled their eyes at her.

"Well, you're here. Why don't you join us?" asked Pearl. Gary looked at them confused. Were these teenage girls who were much more 'coral' than he was, asking him to join them?

"Meow (I'd love to)"

"Regret, Gary, **REGRET**." The voice of his owner sounded through his thoughts. "Meow! (I thought I told you to go away!)"

"Who are you talking to?" asked Pearl. He looked up at them, shaking his eyestalks. "Meow (oh, nobody.)" He then slithered his way up a stool and sat next to them.

"Meow (so, I hear you guys are going to a party later on?)"

Orchid nodded as she sucked the juice through her straw. "Uh-huh, it's at Deborah Clowns' house," replied Pearl, her and Judy giggling.

"Meow! (haha! Clown!)"

"Short for Clownfish," said Orchid, smiling. The other two teens looked at her with blank expressions.

"What? That _is_ what it stands for, right?" she stared at them. Gary could barely keep himself from chuckling.

"Anyways, it's gonna be totally fun. Her parents are out of town and she's gonna have a whole bunch of people over," Pearl said excitedly.

Gary bit his lip. "Meow? (a _whole bunch_ of people, huh?)"

"You bet, slimy shell. I heard she's even gonna invite some of the 'undesirables' from school. Ugh, there's _all_ kinds of gossip on them." Said Judy.

Gary gulped, feeling the pounding of his pulse accelerating. Lots of people, with a _whole lot_ of gossip. And these were people from a high school, which made it even juicier and more tempting by the minute!

"Meow (sounds fun)"

"Why don't you come with us?" Orchid suggested. Gary shifted his eyes around the room. "Meow (oh, I don't know. Papa-Bob wouldn't like it)"

"You mean SpongeBob? Oh, what does he know? He's an old fuddy-duddy, just like my dad," said Pearl, rolling her eyes.

"Totally. I mean, have you _seen_ those square pants he wears? **SO** last year," said Orchid.

"Orchid, the square dude has _always_ worn those pants," replied Judy, looking over at her friend.

"Well, he should get some new ones!" Orchid argued.

"Meow (I don't know how that would work out… they're the only pants that fit him, I'm afraid.)"

"Oh, why are we talking about SpongeBob's pants?! We should be talking about the party!" said Pearl.

"Yeah. So, you wanna come with?" asked Orchid, nudging the snail with her elbow.

"Don't do it, Gary! It's a trick!" said the sponge, appearing yet again in another bubble.

"Meow? (what **kind** of trick?)"

SpongeBob scratched the back of his head. "Uh, well, uh… I don't know. But they're teenagers, Gary. They're _always_ playing some sort of trick!"

Gary rolled his eyes. "Meow (you're starting to sound like Patrick)"

"Who is?" Pearl interrupted the strange conversation he seemed to be having with himself.

"Meow, meow (uh, nobody. I'd love to tag along with you guys but… wouldn't it be weird? A snail going to a party with a bunch of teens?)"

The three teens looked at each other. "You're seriously worried about not looking weird? You live in a pineapple with a dish sponge, remember?" said Pearl.

Gary stared into space. "Meow (that's true, you've got a point.)"

"So, you coming or what?" asked Judy casually, slurping the last of her juice.

"Meow… (well…)" It was too hard for him to resist at this point. It'd be like being on a talk show, except with a bunch of clueless teens.

"So help me, Gary, if you go to that party you'll be in BIG trouble mister!" the sponge in the bubble warned.

The snail stared into space. "Hello? Earth to shell?" said Pearl, waving her flipper in front of his eyes.

He shook his eyestalks once again. "Meow (let's do it)" he grinned widely.


	3. A party to remember

**Hey-o! Here's chapter three, the final chapter. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters**

**Gary the Busybody**

_~French Narrator~_

"One fatal mistake later."

Well, there he was. Slithering down the road alongside the three carefree youngsters. Neptune knew how much fun _this_ was going to be.

Gary had spent hours running around town with Pearl, Judy, and Orchid. He could've definitely said he had fun. Heck, it was the most fun he had in a _long_ time; you know, other than playing pranks on people and messing with Patrick or as Gary liked to call him, 'tubby'.

The fun-loving four had taken time to go bowling, Gary making an excellent substitute for a bowling ball. They went to the mall where Judy made it her mission to teach the snail all about the 'beauty world', which, to be honest, he couldn't have cared less about. He had to grin and bear it though; at this point, he was still trying to lick the lipstick off his mouth that the young girl insisted testing on him at one of the cosmetic stores.

While doing various other activities, the snail had forgotten all about what his owner had warned him of. After all, he _did_ tell him to go out and do something different or have an adventure, and he was doing it! Well, if you'd call being forced against your will to have fake eyelashes glued on, then yes, it was an adventure, a very unusual one.

The four were just minutes away from Deborah 'Clowns' house. Oh, the three teens were very much excited. But the snail? Oh, boy, he was _ecstatic._ A party with a bunch of random wild teens was just the kind of 'adventure' he would seek out. Sure, his yellow master wouldn't be very happy about it once he'd find out where he had been and just exactly what he'd been up to, but the snail could feel that whatever punishment he was going to receive couldn't be enough to ruin the thrill he was about to have.

"I'm so ready for this party! How about you guys?" asked Pearl excitedly.

"You bet, girl. It's gonna be like _so _totally worth it to see Debbie's crazy blue eyeshadow," said Judy, examining her fin as she walked.

"How do you know she's gonna be wearing blue?" asked Orchid.

Judy scoffed at her friend. "When does she ever _not_ wear blue?"

"Meow? (you mean this Deborah person wears all that crazy makeup stuff?)" the snail asked, looking up at them.

"Oh, yeah. She **piles** it on," replied Pearl.

"Yeah, she's always a cake-face!" remarked Orchid.

"Seems to me like she's always trying to impress someone. You're gonna see why everybody calls her Debbie 'clown'," Judy allowed a smug grin to creep onto her face.

"I'm so confused. I thought 'clown' was just her last name, what's so bad about a last name?" asked Orchid, her cluelessness too much for the other two teens to handle.

"_Oh, boy. We're not even at the party yet and they're already gossiping. This is gonna be good!"_ thought Gary. The devious little troublemaker grinned widely to himself, imagining all the juicy things he was going to overhear at this secretive little shindig.

A few moments later, they finally arrived at their destination. Before them was a large home that was shaped like a lighthouse, with magenta flowers painted over an olive-green background on all sides of the home. The front yard was surrounded by a brown picket fence.

"Meow (uh, why does she live in a lighthouse?)"

The bored and sarcastic Judy looked down at him. "Seriously? You've seen your own house, right?"

"Meow (once again, you have a point.)"

There were two large circular windows on the front of the house. It appeared that all the lights were on as loud, yet muffled music could be heard from the outside.

"Ooh, it looks like everybody's already having a great time! Hehe let's go in!" said Pearl, shaking with excitement.

The four made their way to the front door. Right as Pearl was about to pound her flipper against the door, it opened.

"Well, howdy Pearl! Oh, and friends!" the perky teenage fish with choppy brown hair greeted them. She wore a mid-length dark-purple dress with pink and yellow spots. Gary eyed her up and down. Yikes, they weren't kidding when they called her 'clown'. On her large lips was a shiny, bright-pink lip gloss, while her eyes were decorated with a bright purple eyeshadow topped with gold glitter. And let's not forget the huge swirls of rosy pink blush on her cheeks.

"Hi, Debbie. This looks like a great party! I hope you don't mind us bringing an extra friend," said Pearl.

"Why, sure! I don't mind at all. Y'know what them folks say, the more the merrier! Where's your friend?" jeepers, it was like she was the perky, clueless version of Sandy. You know, if Sandy was also a fish and not a squirrel.

Pearl stepped aside to reveal little Gary, who faked a cheerful smile at the teen. "Oh, ain't you just the CUTEST little bundle of joy! Your owner must love you to death," Debbie gushed.

"Meow (oh, he sure does! A little too much actually)"

Debbie let out a high-pitched, deafening giggle. Judy covered her ears. Orchid elbowed her. "See? She's not wearing blue this time," she said smugly, making Judy roll her eyes.

"Well, Y'all can't just stand here all night. Come on in! Join the fun. My folks are away on a little campin' trip for the week. This is the third party I've had this week since they've been gone!"

"Wow! My dad would _never_ let me have a party; let alone **three!**" Pearl said in amazement, looking around at the dozens of teens dancing their tailfins off to music.

"Well, I guess we can't really say my folks **let** me, aha. But it's all good. I'm pretty quick at cleanin' up a mess, I don't think they'll ever know," she smiled crookedly.

"Well, if you ever need help cleaning up spilled food, Gary's your guy! Or snail," said Orchid, chuckling.

The snail grinned shyly at her response. He took in his surroundings. All the teens dancing, talking and having fun. A long, rectangular table all fixed up with Neptune knows what kind of snacks. Heck, Papa-Bob never let him eat regular fish food; only the same old 'snail' gunk, yuck. Well, he did say to try new things, and that plate of cookies sure looked 'new' & appetizing to the snail!

Just then, two teenage girls casually passed by the group. "Did you hear Shelly's coming out with her own clothing line?" asked the blond fish.

The fish with black hair gasped. "You mean Shelly Whiskers?! The girl with the hideous chin hair? How could she afford it?!"

"I hear it's because her dad 'won' the lottery. But rumor has it that he actually robbed that 'Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank' because he's broke!"

Oh, dear Neptune and all that was good! The party was just getting started and already the snail could feel the inside of his shell tingling with excitement. He stuck his tongue out like a pet worm, drooling as his eyes glistened.

"Uh, is he okay?" asked Debbie, pointing at the mesmerized little creature.

Pearl shrugged. "Maybe he's never seen fruit punch before?"

* * *

"_French Narrator~_

"Meanwhile."

"Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm," the hardworking SpongeBob hummed to himself as he scrubbed the Krusty Krab grill with a toothbrush.

The always-annoyed octopus neighbor of his stuck his large head through the kitchen window. "SPONGEBOB! Will you _please_ stop that humming?! It's very annoy-wha-what are you doing?" he questioned.

The sponge looked up at him. "Oh, hi Squidward! There's some burnt cheese stuck to the grill, so I'm just trying to scrub it off." He smiled and continued to work at it.

Squidward was even more confused than usual at this. "Okay. But why are you using a toothbrush?"

"Because we were all out of those special rags, silly!" he chuckled.

Squidward stared blankly at him. "Uh… yeah. Ya know, you _are_ a sponge; you could've just laid on your back on top of the grill and scrubbed it that way," he smiled slyly.

"Oh, but that could burn me because the grill is hot. It takes an awfully long time to cool off," replied SpongeBob, looking up innocently at his coworker.

"I know." Said Squidward. Man, he sure wasn't good at hiding his daggers for the sponge.

Just then, Mr. Krabs entered the kitchen. "Ahoy, SpongeBob! Mister Squidward. Ye almost done scrubbin' the cheese off that grill?" he asked.

"Yes sir, Cap'n!" SpongeBob saluted him with the toothbrush.

"I suggested he just use his back to scrub it instead of that worthless little toothbrush. It'd get the job done a lot faster," Squidward spoke deceitfully.

Mr. Krabs stared blankly at him for a moment before he smiled. "That's a great idea Mister Squidward! Perhaps, later on, ye would like to lend yer head to one the toilets; it would make a great pumice stone,"

Squidward mumbled an insult under his breath before turning away from the window. "So, how's everything at home lad? Yer snail, uh, Berry- "

"Gary," SpongeBob corrected.

"Eh, right. How's he doin'?" asked Mr. Krabs.

The sponge sighed as he continued to scrub away the grease. "Oh, the little guy's bored at home, nothing to do and all alone while I get to have all the fun," he said, shaking his head.

Only SpongeBob would consider scrubbing a dirty grill with a toothbrush 'fun'. His boss cocked a brow. "Bored, eh? Well, why doesn't he go out and find somethin' special to do? I'm sure there's lots of things for little fellers like him to get into,"

"That's what I'm hoping he did today. I told him he needed to go out and find something adventurous to do! Except… oh…" the sponge became discouraged suddenly.

"Except what, boy-O?"

"Except I'm afraid he'll just get himself into trouble with town gossip. He's been obsessed with talk shows and magazines, getting involved in the pettiness of it all. I just didn't raise him that way, Mr. Krabs,"

"Arg arg arg arg! Oh, lad. I'm sure yer little bundle of joy just wants to be havin' himself a wingding of a time. You've got to allow him to go out and just do whatever floats his boat. But whatever it is he's doin', I'm sure the feller is probably just as bored right now as he is at home," the crustacean smiled.

SpongeBob smiled back, giving the words of his boss some thought. "Maybe you're right Mr. K. Hahaha, my little Gary's probably just laying out on his little blanket at the park with his favorite sunglasses on. Not a care in the world, not a soul to be seen or spoken to… "

* * *

_At the party…_

"Go long!" a male teenage fish shouted, preparing to throw a football towards his friend.

_CRASH!_

The two teenage boys had broken a vase. "Hey! I told y'all no roughhousin'!" warned Debbie.

Meanwhile, on the living room couch sat four teenage girls, three of them comforting the one towards the middle.

"It's okay, Maggie. You don't need him; there's plenty of other fish in the sea," said a girl.

The young lady cried, tracks of black mascara running down her face. "That's what you don't seem to be getting, Sarah. James was a crab, not a fish,"

"So?"

"SO, I DON'T LIKE FISH!" she cried obnoxiously, blowing her nose.

"But Maggie, you're a fish yourself…"

"DON'T REMIND ME!"

As this was occurring, Gary was pressed up against the back of the couch, listening in to the private conversation of the girls. So far, the snail had picked up on at least thirty different conversations that were either unfiltered, emotional teen breakdowns or just pure town gossip. While he enjoyed hearing both, he much preferred the plain juiciness of the gossip; it filled his little mind with tantalizing thoughts.

"Hey, have you guys seen Gary?" asked Pearl as she walked up to her friends.

Judy and Orchid glanced at each other, both shaking their heads. "I haven't seen him for a few hours," said Orchid.

"That's because you were too busy stuffing your face with those barnacle chips," said Judy, rolling her eyes.

"I think I've seen him! He's been kinda quiet, just sorta hangin' around other folks but not really talkin' to em'," said Debbie.

"Hmm… hey you guys, you think Gary is a gossip?" asked Pearl, placing her flipper under her chin.

"Ha! A snail liking gossip? That's a first," said Judy.

"Yeah! That sponge guy wouldn't be too happy to hear about that if it turned out to be true," said Orchid, sipping on her punch.

Pearl giggled. "Haha, yeah. You're probably right. Although I do still do wonder about that little guy sometimes…"

Just then, a rather mature but very good-looking man passed by Judy, not paying any attention to her. He certainly caught _her_ attention though. "Hold my punch, it's time to do a little fishing," she said, handing Orchid her glass.

Orchid gasped as she watched her walk away. "Cannibal!" she shouted. Pearl slapped her flipper against her forehead at her remark.

Judy approached the male fish from behind. "Hey there, businessman. What's your name?" she smiled. The fish turned around to face her and smiled, showing his bright white teeth. This guy seemed a little old for high school… and certainly too handsome to be among the teens with barnacles all over their faces.

"Well, hello. I don't believe we've met before. And my name is Ray, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said.

Judy chuckled. "Ooh, so sophisticated. What are you doing at this lame-o party?"

"_Ooh, Judy's hanging around that fancy looking guy over there. I wonder what they're talking about…" _Gary bit his lip, very tempted to throw himself into more fun, some very _devious _fun.

He slithered his way over and hid behind a lamp to listen in. The conversation was nothing too out of the ordinary. Well, except for maybe how the guy mentioned his expensive 'vehicle'. He was supposedly a high schooler; how could he afford such a thing? More importantly, how could his parents even allow such a thing? Did he even _have_ parents?

The snail became bored after a while and nearly slithered away until a woman approached Judy and Ray. "Well, hello Ray. Would you mind telling me who you're talking to?" the woman asked, giving Judy a dirty look.

"Hello, Samantha. It's nothing, really. I just had nobody to talk to- "

"And just what are you supposed to be? His mother?" asked Judy, her attitude poking through.

The woman scoffed. "Oh, as if **I'm** the one who looks old…" her remark caught everyone's attention, making the people in the room gasp.

"Meow! (oh, snap!)" the snail was very intrigued at this point. "Well, you definitely don't look like you belong in my grade. After all, we youngsters aren't prone to getting those ugly creases around our eyes," Judy said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You'd better take that back missy," the woman warned, furrowing her brows.

"Missy?! HA! What are you gonna do? Hit me with your cane?" right as she spoke those words, she made a gesture with her fin, accidentally smacking the woman on the arm. The two locked eyes.

"CATFIGHT!" a young man yelled.

The woman attacked Judy before anything else could be said. Grunting and shouting could be heard as a large cloud of sand formed, covering up the two as they fought.

Oh, boy. This was far better than any gossip the snail could get from TV! He watched from a distance as the two females practically destroyed each other. It was just some random guy they were fighting over; was it r_eally_ worth it? Oh well, no matter. At least Gary finally got the excitement he'd been waiting for.

As the two fought, they tumbled closer towards Gary, causing him to slither backward and bump into a male fish.

He turned around. "Hey, watch where you're going slimeball!" he spat, flinging around his hippie hairstyle.

Gary hissed at him. "Meow (who are you calling slimeball, mop head?)"

The fish clenched his fins. "Oh, you've done it now man. You insult the hair, YOU INSULT ME!"

"MEOW! (BRING IT ON!)"

Tearing and shredding noises could be heard as Gary bit down and tore the boys' clothing.

As all of this went down, Pearl and Orchid stood on the sidelines videotaping it all with their shell-phones. "Boy, you don't see **this** kind of excitement at the Krusty Krab!" said Pearl, watching the sand clouds move around the room.

"I'll say! Your dad has _got_ to hire some wrestlers or something for entertainment; he'd so get way more customers that way," said Orchid.

"ALRIGHT, BREAK IT UP!" Ray had suddenly gotten himself in the middle of the room, demanding that this ridiculousness be stopped. The four froze, the sand clouds dissipating.

Just then, Debbie's parents came through the door, camping gear and all. "Mama, daddy?! What are you guys doing here?!" Debbie was frantic at the sight of her parents.

Her mother placed her fins on her hips. "Huh! Well, well, well. It looks like that's the last time we'll be trustin' you!" the young female was now in _deep_ trouble for sure. Well, so much for a 'secret' shindig.

Ray pulled Samantha up from the ground. "Samantha, I've had just about enough of your jealousy! And as for the rest of you, you're coming with me." He said.

What in Neptune's name was this? "Meow? (what do you mean?)"

Ray opened his coat, revealing the shininess of something that no one at that party was expecting.

* * *

_~French Narrator~_

"A few hours later."

It was now dark outside as SpongeBob hummed his way home from work. Ah, after a long day on his feet, he couldn't wait to just sit down to relax and spend some time with his favorite pet in the whole world. Or, his _only_ pet actually.

"I wonder what kind of little adventure Gary had today. Pfft, then again, maybe Mr. Krabs was right. Maybe he just went out somewhere and was even more bored than usual. Dahahaha! Gary, _bored_, ha!" he shook his head in amusement as he opened the door to the empty pineapple.

"Gary, I'm home!" he sang.

_Silence._

"Gare?" he called. "Hm, guess he's still out."

Suddenly, Patrick came out from the kitchen eating a carton of ice cream. The sponge's ice cream, apparently.

"Hey, SpongeBob," greeted Patrick, his mouth full of frozen vanilla.

"Oh, hey Patrick. Have you seen Gary?" asked SpongeBob.

The starfish swallowed the large scoop in his mouth. "No, I don't believe I have seen Garret at all today. Perhaps he went outside to tinkle."

SpongeBob chuckled. "Why would he do that? He has a litter box,"

"I have a toilet," said Patrick.

"So?"

"Just because I have it doesn't mean I use it."

An awkward silence filled the air for a few moments before SpongeBob shook everything off and sat down in the red living room chair. "Well, wherever Gary is, I just hope he's having a good time," he smiled.

Just then, the purple shell-phone next to the chair bounced with rings.

"SquarePants residence," SpongeBob answered.

"Meow (hey, Papa-Bob…)"

The sponges' eyes flew open and he nearly fell out of his chair. "Gary?! Is that you?"

"Meow (Uh-huh)"

"Well, I'm glad you called. I was a bit worried about you buddy. So, are you having any fun?" he asked with a smile.

Gary bit his lip. "Meow (sure, if you call handcuffs around your eyes fun)"

SpongeBob cocked a brow. "Handcuffs? Gary, where are you?"

"Meow… (it's kind of hard to explain, but…)" the snail looked behind him at the long line of prisoners waiting to use the phone. In that line were also Pearl, Judy, Orchid and the hippie man from the party.

Pearl sighed. "Who knew videotaping a fight could get you in so much trouble?"

"This is the LAST time I hang out with you guys on a Friday night!" Judy spoke bitterly.

"Hey, you're the one who approached the dude in the first place!" said Orchid, jangling the handcuffs around her fins.

"How was I supposed to know he was an undercover po-po?!" Judy argued.

"Meow (Papa-Bob, I have a question)"

"Sure, Gare. What is it?"

"Meow? (you wouldn't happen to have $1,500 worth of bail money, would you?)"

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's the end! Lol. I hope this ending wasn't too weird or anything. See you. **


End file.
